Men and Pornography, Adultery and Sexual Immorality

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Christian Men and Pornography, Adultery, and Sexual Immorality

"Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways,

Do not stray into her paths;

For she has cast down many wounded,

And all who were slain by her were strong men." (Proverbs 7:25-26)

"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:27-28)

"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life." (Galatians 6:7-8)

Christian men, this Paper Intends to Show you two things ...

  1. The devastating and debilitating effects of pornography on your mind, body, spirit, and soul, including a degradation or ruin of your marriage relationship with your wife, a breakdown in your relationship with God, a loss of assurance of your salvation, and the severe consequences that you might well bring upon yourself from God's loving Fatherly discipline, for He will not leave a child of His to self-imposed ruin.

  2. It will also show you how, by the grace of God and the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, you can truly repent of it, renew your mind, break its hold on you and forsake it.

__________

Studies show that the viewing of pornography among Christian men is not far behind that of all other men. Any Pastor or Marriage Counselor will tell you of the widespread nature of the problem.

The effects on individual men of viewing pornography are very deep and very devastating, which is why ...

Our Lord Jesus Christ tells you to radically "cut it off",

The Apostle Paul tells you to "flee" from it, and King Solomon, the wisest man to ever live, save our Lord Jesus Christ, warns you to not think you can handle it on your own, because "all who were slain by her were strong men."

Pornography is addictive. It demands escalation in content. It will not let you alone. It will affect your mind and your body. It will affect your view of all women. It will have debilitating effects in many other ways. Do not think it will not, for the Bible warns you ...

"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life." (Galatians 6:7-8)

Viewing pornography is a very serious matter. Our Lord in very clear language tells you that "whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Viewing pornography is no minor sin. It involves one of God's top ten commandments.

Indeed, our Lord tells you that if you don't forsake it, but continue to "practice" viewing it, you have just cause to question your very salvation itself ...

"Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord," shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.'" (Matthew 7:21-23)

__________ Christian men, hear the word of your God ...

"You shall not commit adultery." (Exodus 20:14)

"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; For it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell." (Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:27-30)

"Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's." (I Corinthians 16:18-20)

Christian man, you either believe the above verses or you don't.

To believe them, but ignore them, is far worse than not believing them — for, in that case, you are "mocking" God and figuratively shaking your fist in His face and telling Him that you will not be bound by His commands.

Let's note the seriousness of these verses: First, God the Father ...

... Himself personally spoke and carved in stone the Seventh Commandment, "You shall not commit adultery," as one of the ten high points of His continuing "moral" law. Clearly, God takes the sin of adultery very seriously.

The Session at our church has ruled that a regular and unrepentant viewing of pornography is to be considered as "adultery", with all the resultant consequences thereunto. As we show directly below, our Lord Jesus Christ says exactly the same thing, so if you wish to argue the point, take it up with Him, not us.

Second, our Lord Jesus Christ expands on the meaning of this Commandment of God ...

"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; For it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell." (Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:27-30)

Jesus very clearly tells us that adultery is a matter of the heart and is not limited to physical commission. He tells us that to view pornography with your eyes is to actually commit adultery, i.e., "whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart". [Note: Married men commit "adultery". Single men commit "sexual immorality". In this Paper, "adultery" and "sexual immorality" are equivalent and interchangeable terms.]

Note well that after clarifying what adultery and the viewing of pornography is, Jesus immediately follows it up with one of the direst warnings in Scripture. Using radical imagery, Jesus tells us of the seriousness of this particular sin and of the utter and immediate necessity of radically dealing with it by "pluck(ing) it out ... cut(ting) it off ... (and) cast(ing) it from you". He follows each of these instructions with the warning that NOT dealing with this sin in an immediate and serious manner risks your whole body being "cast into hell".

We would point out that Jesus is using [radical imagery to stress the seriousness of the sin of lust and the necessity of immediately and radically dealing with it. We know that this is imagery, and is not to be taken literally, because even a blind man can lust and because Jesus tells us elsewhere that sin resides in the "heart" of a man, not his eyes or hand (confirm Matthew 15:16-20).]

Third, the Apostle Paul also very seriously warns us to ...

"Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's." (I Corinthians 16:18-20)

Here Paul tells us that "sexual immorality" is not something that we are to just stand and fight against and resist. No! It is something from which we must immediately "flee" — as if our very lives depended on it.

In this passage, Paul gives us five reasons as to why "sexual immorality" is an especially bad sin:

First, Paul's command to "flee sexual immorality" is expressed in the very same way as his command against idolatry Second, Paul tells us that sexual immorality is a special sin in that "... he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body"

Third, Paul reminds us that the Christian's body is a temple in which God the Holy Spirit dwells. If you are a Christian, when you go onto pornographic websites, watch a pornographic movie, flip through pornographic magazines, you bring the indwelling Holy Spirit of God right along with you, acts which must "grieve" Him terribly. How ashamed you should be to do this to God's Holy Spirit.

Fourth, precisely because you unrepentantly drag the Holy Spirit along with you into pornographic movies, etc., you not only "grieve" Him terribly, but you will most certainly lose the assurance and joy of your salvation As a Christian, you will not lose your salvation itself, but you will lose your assurance of it and your joy in it. The Holy Spirit is called "the Spirit of Adoption" and is the dispenser of the grace of the assurance of your adoption. Don't test Him by "practicing" the viewing of pornography. He is the Holy Spirit and will not abide it for long. Thus does David, though still saved, cry out to God, "Restore to me the joy of Your salvation." (Psalm 51:12)

If you are a Christian and do not feel shame and revulsion at viewing pornography, you have started along the ungodly path of "searing your conscience" such that immoral acts no longer have an effect on it, a very dangerous situation in which to be. Confirm ...

"... having their own conscience seared with a hot iron" (I Timothy 4:2)

"Were they ashamed when they had committed abomination?
No! They were not at all ashamed;
Nor did they know how to blush." (Jeremiah 6:15, 8:15)

You are setting yourself up for God's Fatherly discipline.

Fifth, and most important, Paul tells us that both you and your body are not your own. No! Both you and your body belong to God, who purchased you at an exceedingly high price — the suffering and death of His Son, your Lord Jesus Christ.

Three additional debilitating effects of viewing pornography that we might add to the ones given by Paul are that ...

Sexual sin is addictive and is never satisfied, but demands a continual escalation in content. It will most certainly entrap you and, as we will shortly see, will ruin you in mind, body, and spirit.

Viewing pornography will degrade your view of all women — whether they be wives, daughters, sisters or mothers. Pornography degrades and holds the value of women to be the sum of their sexual parts. It will taint and change the way you view all of them, and will certainly have very bad effects on your marriage relationship with your wife.

Your Christian life and service to God will become feeble and ineffective because of it.

Please do not think that that so-called "soft" porn, such as looking at the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue or flipping through a Victoria's Secret catalogue, is somehow LESS of a sin than actual physical adultery or sexual immorality, when your Lord has told you very clearly that it is not! If you think that "soft" porn is different, then you need to hear again the words of the Lord Jesus Christ on the matter ...

"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matthew 5:27)

The standard is "whoever looks at a woman to lust for her".

And so, pornography will have very debilitating and devastating effects on all areas of your life — on your body, on your mind, on your thought life and on your spirit and soul ...

Hear again the warnings of the Apostle Paul on the matter ...

"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life." (Galatians 6:7-8)

God is not "mocked". You cannot repeatedly disobey His commands and get away with it unscathed. You might think you are, but you simply don't perceive the changes it has and is making in you. You will suffer consequences

Paul warns you against presumption in this area ...

"... let him who thinks he stands fast take heed lest he fall" (I Corinthians 10:12)

He also warns you about your need to immediately break off with all of those who participate in watching pornography with you, refuse to stop, and continue to urge you to do so.

"Do not be deceived: 'Evil company corrupts good habits.'" (I Corinthians 15:33)

Hear also the words of Solomon, the wisest man to have ever lived, save the Lord Jesus Christ, speaking of a harlot luring you (whether in person or by the internet or film) ...

"Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, do not stray into her paths; for she has cast down many wounded, and all who were slain by her were strong men. Her house is the way to hell, descending to the chambers of death." (Proverbs 7:25-27)

Much the same can be said for your adulterously-inclined neighbor's wife or the cute little thing in the office that likes to flirt with you, who dresses and acts provocatively around you, and whose attentions you enjoy.

Again, do not think that you can successfully stand against the devastating effects of pornography on your own ...

For she has cast down many wounded,

And all who were slain by her were strong men." (Proverbs 7:25-26)

Also remember our Lord telling you that "without Me you can do nothing."

Viewing Pornography has Financial and Economic Consequences

Men, if you want to get on the fast track to poverty and ruin, it's really very simple. All you have to do is continue to engage in ... immorality ... fornication ... adultery ... and/or internet pornography.

Hear the words of the Holy Spirit of God speaking through Solomon concerning those harlots performing for you on the internet and the financial and economic consequences of trafficking with them ...

Remove your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your honor to others, and your years to the cruel one; lest aliens be filled with your wealth, and your labors go to the house of a foreigner; and you mourn at last, when your flesh and body are consumed". (Proverbs 5:3-5, 8-11)

"To keep you from the evil woman, from the flattering tongue of a seductress. Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, nor let her allure you with her eyelids. For by means of a harlot, a man is reduced to a crust of bread; and an adulteress will prey upon his precious life". (Proverbs 6:24-26)

AGAIN, MEN ... Do not think that you are strong enough to handle it!

  1. The Lord Jesus Christ used radical imagery and gave very you dire warnings for you to "pluck it out ... cut it off ... (and) cast it from you".

  2. The Apostle Paul warned you to "Flee sexual immorality".

  3. King Solomon, the wises man to have ever lived, save our Lord Jesus Christ has warned you.

"For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps lay hold of hell"
*"Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, do not stray into her paths; for she has cast down many wounded, and all who were slain by her were strong men. Her house is the way to hell, descending to the chambers of death." (*Proverbs 7:25-27 ... Confirm 23:27-28.)

OK, Christian man, you claim to "love" the Lord Jesus Christ.

But, do you really "love" Him?

Let's see:

Four times over, in John Chapter 14 ...

our Lord tells us how to know if we really "love" Him, by equating "love" of Him with OBEDIENCE to His commands. ...

"If you love Me, keep My commandments. (John 14:15)

"He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me." (John 14:21)

"If anyone loves Me, he will keep my word" (John 14:23)

"He who does not love Me does not keep My words" (John 14:24)

So, do you really "love" Jesus? Do you really strive to obey His commands? And He means ALL of His commands. Partial obedience is disobedience. He Himself has told you that He will have ALL of you or He will have NONE of you.

He asks you elsewhere ...

"... why do you call Me 'Lord, Lord,' and not do the things which I say?" (Luke 6:46)

It's a good question, one that you should consider.

And, again ...

He tells you that even if you call Him "Lord. Lord" and do great and mighty works for Him and His church, it means nothing if you "practice" disobedience in any area ...

"Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord," shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness." (Matthew 7:21-23)

True repentance involves much more than remorse, embarrassment, humiliation, and even self-loathing, over a sin. True repentance also includes forsaking the sin. If you feel all of the above, but continue to indulge in or unrepentantly "practice" viewing pornography, then you have not repented of it. Do not be "deceived" about it.

And let's also point out right here that the very idea of there being such a thing as a "carnal Christian", that a person can make a commitment to Christ and accept Him as "Savior" but not as "Lord", is an utterly despicable soul-destroying lie from hell. The idea of a "carnal Christian" is not only [not backed up by Scripture, but is also repeatedly contradicted and refuted by it.]

Lastly, if you are a Christian and refuse to "cut it off" or "flee" from it

Make no mistake about it, you will reap consequences ...

"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life." (Galatians 6:7-8)

"... let him who thinks he stands fast take heed lest he fall" (I Corinthians 10:12)

You will, sooner or later, undergo God's Fatherly discipline, and His discipline can be very rough

"And have you forgotten the exhortation that speaks to you as sons:

'My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD,

Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him;
For whom the LORD loves He chastens,
And scourges every son whom He receives.'" (Hebrews 12:5-6)

Go look up "scourge" and see if that is what you want — because if you are a Christian and continue unrepentantly in this (or any other) sin, you will be "scourged" by God. Do not be "deceived" about it.

If you are God's child, He will not long abide your continued disobedience or your dragging His Holy Spirit that indwells you into your shameful lust with you. No! As His child, God will have you strive for holiness, and He will do it by whatever means it takes — scourging or, even worse, letting you, like the prodigal son, hit the bottom of utter degradation to get you to give it up and return to Him.

God is most certainly a gracious, loving, forgiving and merciful God, but He is also a "consuming fire of holiness" that has repeatedly warned and urged you to repentance. So, do not force Him to "chasten" or "scourge" you by continuing in your sin. Like any good Father, He will discipline you because He loves you and wants you to be conformed to the image of His Son. He will do it in love — but He will do it!

What can I do if I am trapped in pornography?

If you are not a Christian ...

... you don't have to clean yourself up and then go to God. No. You go to God first and then He will help you to clean yourself up. You should go to God in prayer, confess your sins, and by faith receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. He will then help you to clean up your life up as discussed below.

Again, do not try to clean up your life and then come to Him. You come to Him now, just as you are, and ask Him to be your Lord and Savior. He will accept you and then He will help you to clean up your life. If you have done this, you can continue on to read and follow the "9 Steps" given below, under the "If you are a Christian" section.

If you are a Christian ... Follow the 9 Steps Listed Below

  1. The first thing you can do is obey the warning and command of your Lord, which bears repeating ...

"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; For it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell." (Matthew 5:27-30)

Your Savior and Lord has told you to radically sever this sin from your life — He has told you to "pluck it out ... cut it off ... cast it from you".

You should immediately destroy any and all forms of pornography in your possession. If you keep it around, it shows that you really do not want to be free of it. It will be a snare to you, and you will sooner or later go back to it. You cannot have truly repented of viewing pornography and want to keep it around.

  1. Second, again, you need to immediately break it off with all those who participated in watching pornography with you, especially those who urge you to continue watching it with them.

Remember ...

"Do not be deceived: 'Evil company corrupts good habits.'" (I Corinthians 15:33)

Pray for God to help them want to stop.

  1. Third, from this very minute start to fight and resist it. And do not let Satan tell you that you can't overcome it. Read the following verses ...

"I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. But if you are led by the Spirit ...
... the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit." (Galatians 6:16-18, 22-25)

Did you see that one of the "fruits" of walking and living by the Spirit of God is "self-control"?

There it is, as plain as it can be. If you are a Christian, you can have no reason but your own spiritual laziness and unbelief for not achieving "self-control" in this area. "Self-control" is there for you to take. So, don't blame God ... don't blame the devil ... don't blame our culture ... don't blame others ... blame only yourself! At least "man up" enough to put the blame where it belongs ... and then do something about it.

Again, the world, the flesh, the devil can only lead you to your sin, it is you who makes the final decision whether or not to dwell or wallow in it. You have been promised "self-control" — you have only to pursue and work for it. Forsaking pornography will not be easy. But most worthwhile things usually aren't. The work and the fight will be very hard and no matter how far you develop in resisting it, you will always have to be on your guard against it. But you can overcome it and "cast it off". Take it from one who has been where you are now.

  1. Immerse yourself in the use of the "means of grace".

The "means of grace" are the ways in which the Holy Spirit imparts His sanctifying grace to us. The chief "means of grace" are ... reading and meditating on God's word, the Bible ... prayer ... worship (private, family, corporate in church) ... and partaking of the sacraments (Baptism and the Lord's Supper). The means of grace are the method by which we communicate with God and He communicates back with us. We communicate with Him through prayer and He communicates with us through His word, the Bible.

It is vitally important that you immerse yourself in a diligent and regular use of the means of grace. Hear your Lord Jesus Christ on exactly how much spiritual good you can accomplish on your own ...

"Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.
I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing." John 15:4-5)

You "abide" in Jesus through the means of grace — Bible reading and meditation, prayer, etc.

Reading and meditating on the word of God is extremely important in your sanctification process. In fact, in His High Priestly prayer to His Father, Jesus prayed concerning us ...

"Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth." (John 17:17

And when our Lord was Himself tempted by the devil in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11), what did he do? He quoted Scripture to the devil to settle all of the devil's temptations. We should be prepared to do likewise.

Again, you cannot fight this fight on your own, for on your own, "you can do nothing." You must be equipped with a regular and diligent use of the means of grace.

The choice is yours ...

You can "bear much fruit", the fruit of "love ... joy ... peace ... self-control"

... or ...

You can fail and accomplish "nothing".

Which will you do?

  1. You must also put on the armor of God.

The "means of grace" are only one part of your weapons. The "armor of God" is the other part ...

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit" Ephesians 6:10-18)

You have great foes. You need great armor.

  1. Sixth, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." (James 4:8)

The same God who showed you mercy and love and died for you when you were His "enemy" and "at enmity" with Him, will most certainly, willingly, and lovingly stand by you in your struggles with pornography (and all other sins, as well). You have His promise that "if you will draw near to Him, He will draw near to you."

But, how does one "Draw near to God"?

There is only one way. You can begin to "draw near to God" right this very moment by using the "means" of His grace. If you do so, He will transform your mind and conform you into the likeness of Christ. Nothing but your own spiritual laziness and unwillingness to take up the means of grace can or will hamper or delay it.

  1. If you feel OK about it, find someone whom you know and trust to whom you can be held accountable in this area on a regular basis

Be very discerning here and choose a person wise and practiced in the ways of the Lord. It can be a mature Christian friend, your Elder, a Pastor, or a trusted member of your church. It should, of course, be another man, and definitely not your wife or relative, or someone at your office or place of business. Again, be discerning in your choice of whom to work with, but do choose someone, if you feel OK about it, for it is good to have someone to whom you can be regularly held accountable

  1. Memorize all the related verses outlined above, and the ones in "Item # 9" below, for ...

"Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You."
(Psalm 119:11)

  1. When setbacks come, and they will ...

Repent of them quickly and learn from them. Consider that setbacks are your fault and do not blame anyone but yourself. Consider also what set them off and avoid that line of thought or place of temptation in the future.

Remember ...

"I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. But if you are led by the Spirit ...
... the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit." (Galatians 6:16-18, 22-25)

"you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's" (I Corinthians 6:18-20).
"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." (James 4:8)

"For sin shall not have dominion over you." (Romans 6:14)

"He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." (I John 4:4)

"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." (I Corinthians 10:13)

Let us turn now turn our attention from the effects of viewing pornography to The Responsibility of Christian Men to Watch Over their Families in this and all other areas

Christian men, you need to realize that YOU are responsible before God for protecting your family from the ravages of sexual immorality and pornography (and this means "soft" porn as well as "hard core" porn).

Do not allow it into your home!

We live in a culture where sexual immorality thrives. But, sadly, many of us don't resist its influence and, worse, we allow and bring it into our homes and place it before our kids with TV shows that we watch and in movies that we take them to see. And then we wonder "Why?" our kids become sexually immoral! It's really very simple — we have let immoral instructors into our homes that taught them to be that way.

You as a man are appointed by God as the head of your family.

Family heads should not watch any TV show or go to any movie with sexual content that you would not allow your children to see, especially under the self-deceptive grounds that it is "adult" entertainment — for two reasons

a. Much so-called "adult entertainment" is as bad for you as it would be for your children.

Jesus said ...

"... whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

He said nothing about exceptions for "adult" entertainment

b. Very importantly, your kids can spot a hypocrite a mile off and it will destroy the effectiveness of everything that you say to them.

Men, concerning your daughters ...

There are two things that I am often amazed at concerning men and their daughters ...

First, I am often amazed at the way that some men let their daughters dress, especially by some of the swimsuits they let them wear.

I laid down two swimsuit rules in my house for my daughters. First rule, there are to be NO TWO-PIECE bathing suits. I don't care if it's hard to find attractive one-piece bathing suits, there are to be NO two-piece bathing suits. Period! Second rule, my daughters had to model any bathing suit they wanted to wear before me before they could wear them in public. You will hopefully be pleasantly surprised at the chilling effect that this simple rule will have on them.

It also needs to be said that your daughters should never be allowed to wear clothes that show the outlines of their underwear or any cleavage. They should also not be allowed to wear clothes that look like they were sprayed on and leave very little to the imagination.

So ... "How should a Christian woman dress?"

Paul says ...

"... women (should) adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation ... which is proper for women professing godliness" (I Timothy 2:9).

Second, I am also often amazed at the ways that some men let their daughters act with and around young men in public.

Just as men are sexually aroused by sight, women are sexually aroused by touch. SO WHAT if your daughters want to cling to their boyfriends like the other girls do, God has told YOU what to do and you are to instruct your daughter in what He says is right. And He holds YOU personally responsible for overseeing this! You will give an account to Him for it. In most cases, you simply need to "man up", and take control of and run your family the way that God has told you to do.

A Word to the Ladies ...

Ladies, you should be very careful not to add to the problem for men by the way that you dress and conduct yourself. It's just a simple fact of life that men's sexual appetites are most often aroused and driven by sight. So do not be a stumbling block to men in the way you dress. As Paul instructs Timothy ...

"... women (should) adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation ... which is proper for women professing godliness" (I Timothy 2:9).

There is nothing wrong with a woman trying to look attractive or wearing fine jewelry (we see God Himself figuratively putting gold ornaments on Israel His bride), but "modest" dress is the standard befitting "women professing godliness".

Finally, it's very sad that the problem of pornography, which was almost exclusively applicable to men, is increasingly becoming more of a problem with women also. If this should be the case with you, then everything said in this paper for men would also apply to you.

In conclusion, men ...

you need to constantly remind all your family members of the same thing that you yourself need to be constantly reminded of ...

"... you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's" (I Corinthians 6:18-20).

Soli Deo Gloria Glory to God alone*